I Need to Apologize (Explicit)

[Oberst W. Klink]

No, Hogan, I don't know what you're talking about, I am not mad at all.
*His tone is calm but cold*
But I'm not sure why you followed me back here. Dismissed Colonel.
*Gets up and starts for the office door*
I still have my regular paper war to fight.

[Col. R. Hogan]

*discovers he can speak without stuttering when he's focused on trying to learn new information*
*knows a bullshit line when he hears one, mostly because he’s had to give plenty of them in his line of work*
"I came back..." *almost says to have some more fun but doesn’t* "...to wash our cups. Figured if you were nice enough to share your coffee with me, it was the least I could do."
*bites his lip, briefly considering his options*
*quickly pulls Klink down onto the couch and roughly kisses him*
"I don't know what kind of game you're playing with me, Colonel, but I don’t like it."
*looks and sounds upset*
"It's not easy to give my daily reports without begging to touch you - or for you to touch me - at some point, you know. Wasn’t too happy about my earlier stammering either, but..."
*trails off as he lets go of Klink's arm*
"Look, I really like you. I have for a long time. And if this is because you overheard me talking to myself, rest assured I'm not crazy. Verbalizing issues is how I work through them."
*kisses him again*
*angry expression morphs into an awkward one*
"I'm hoping that's not the reason, though. Those kind of things aren't, you know, meant for anyone else’s ears."

[Oberst W. Klink]

*His heart starts racing instantly when Hogan kisses him*
*Has to hold back to not try to stick his hands under Hogan's shirt again*
I don't know what kind of game you are playing with me!! *Angry*
* Is torn between anger, mistrust and sadness as he listens to Hogan's assertions*
*He really wants to believe it but wouldn't that be incredibly stupid in light of their history?*
*Finally just feels sad and exhausted*
How am i supposed to believe you Hogan? You lie to me at least once a day....
And it doesn't make sense!
None of it.
That you suddenly like me so much... It doesn't make sense... *sighs exhaustedly*
What are you trying to get from me? What is so big that it's worth doing ... things with me?
*Starts cleaning his monocle to busy his hands with something*
Just tell me and i might just give it to you ...
*That would surely be better than getting his heart broken in one of Hogan's schemes*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*listens to Klink’s words and realizes he has a good point*
*sighs*
"You're right, I do. I won't deny I've lied to you a lot...but it's always been a necessity. I really, really don’t like lying. It's too complicated. Plus, you've gotta remember what you said to who. Contrary to what you might think, I've got better things to do than make up tall tales all the time."
*runs a hand down his face in frustration*
"You still don't get it, huh? I don't want some favor; I want you. You, Wilhelm Klink. I want your lanky self, what with your monocle and beautiful eyes and your graceful stride and...and just everything!"
*throws his hands in the air*
"Don’t you realize how jealous I am that you practically glide when you walk? I can’t do that. Hell, you're even light on your feet when you're running! And don't even get me started on how nice your uniform looks compared to mine. That would be a loooong rant."
*runs a hand through his hair*
"I didn’t tell you before because this kinda thing is illegal in both of our militaries. And then you were so upset earlier..."
*trails off and looks down at his lap*
 "I know my guys will take care of everything, but you don’t seem too sure. So I...I decided to say something. I couldn't let you keep believing that I barely tolerated you."

[Oberst W. Klink]

*all the compliments make him extremely nervous bc he wants to believe but doesn't dare*
*Silently looks at the monocle in his hands for a long while pondering what he should do*
*Finally looks Hogan into the eyes with a serious expression*
Colonel Hogan, *quietly* i need you to realize that, if you should be lying about this... It would hurt me in a way that I absolutely do not deserve as a person. No matter how much you should hate me for imprisoning you...
*Prays that Hogan is decent enough to not do that to him*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*feels his body tense up while Klink is thinking*
*looks into his eyes with an equally serious expression*
"Colonel Klink, I give you my word as an officer and a gentleman that I'm not lying about this. I'd willingly go spend some time with Hochstetter before I would hurt you like that."
*shakes his head*
"I don’t hate you for locking me up, though. Who I hate is all the men at the top - on both sides - who decided to have another war instead of talking things out. You're just doing your job. And to be honest, you're damned good at it. You make sure everyone here has adequate shelter, clothes, medical care, even a decent quality of food. Making sure everyone stays fed can’t be easy...especially when you've got a big guy like Schultz to take care of."
*chuckles, then turns serious again*
"After you pointed out to me how much effort you put into running your camp, I started thinking about some of the stories I've heard from my men. Stories about life in other stalags. They ranged from unpleasant to downright horrifying, especially the ones from Stalag 4."
*shudders*
"I know I joke about this being a country club. Mostly, I do it because it's cute to see you do this."
*swings his right arm like Klink does*
"Mmmpf!"
*smiles*
"Stalag 13 really is one compared to those places, though. All of us could be somewhere so much worse. So thank you, sir. Thank you for everything you do for me and my men. I truly appreciate it."
*gives him a soft kiss*

[Oberst W. Klink]

*quietly listens to Hogan and studies his face to catch any trace of a lie*
*is so concentrated that he misses the chance to scold Hogan for his stupid jokes*
*his heart races at the prospect of Hogan being genuine about this*
*feels a lump form in his throat when Hogan thanks him*
*and when Hogan kisses him he involuntarily makes the decision to trust him*
*better to love and loose than to never have loved*
*kisses Hogan back*
*then cups Hogan's face and kisses him deeply*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*is wondering what Klink is thinking when his kiss is returned*
*mind goes blank*
*heart races as their kiss is deepened*
*puts one hand on the back of Klink’s head, exploring everything from his bald spot to his ring of hair*
*involuntarily whimpers after it ends*
*is aroused*
*speaks in a low, lustful tone*
“God, you’re a great kisser.”
*sits on his lap again so they can be closer to each other*
*flicks his tongue out to touch Klink’s lips*
*looks at him through hooded eyes*
“Please, I need more!”
*doesn’t care that he’s begging*

[Oberst W. Klink]

*when Hogan sits on his lap he sticks his hands under Hogans jacket to feel his warmth and presses him close*
*The thought of how long it's been before today since he's last had someone in his arms creeps into his mind and if he's being careless because of this but he quickly pushes the thoughts away*
*and when Hogan's tongue touches his lips he presses him ever closer and kisses him hungrily*
*When he hears Hogan begging blood immediately starts to pool in his lower regions and he pulls back from the kiss*
*Takes a deep breath*
Let's not get carried away now *firmly*
*Nibbles on Hogan's ear and takes in his scent*
*Whispers* there will be more than enough time for this later... And tomorrow... And everyday...
*Rests his forehead in the crook of Hogan's neck and tries not to think "if you're men are es good as they say"*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*arches his back when he feels Klink’s cool hands touch him through his shirt*
*can’t bring himself to care about how risky any of this is because he’s actually relaxed*
*moans a bit from the kiss*
*starts to protest about not getting to have more fun*
“But I – mmm.”
*gives up when Klink nibbles on his ear and whispers to him*
*squirms a bit, trying to think unsexy thoughts to get rid of his issue*

“Every day? Now that's a work detail I can agree to!”

*laughs and rests his chin against the top of Klink’s head*

“Man, I’d rather do this than fight with you any day of the week. It’s a lot more fun.”
*strokes his ring of hair*
“Question, though…are we on a first-name basis when we’re alone, or what? Cause you keep switching between my first name and my last one, and it’s kind of confusing. I don’t wanna make you mad again by assuming anything.”

[Oberst W. Klink]

*Is a bit flustered at Hogans question and looks up to him with a pained expression*
Doesn't it feel weird to you to call me Wilhelm?
*His ears start burning again with embarrassment because he just indirectly admitted that he feels super awkward with the first names thing*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*thinks about it for a second*
*tilts his hand from side to side*
“A little bit…but it’s better than your title. That sounds too kinky for me. Of course, you do carry that riding crop of yours around like it’s a teddy bear, so maybe you’re into that kind of thing.”
*grins*
“You’re so cute when you blush, though.”
*gives him a quick kiss*
“In all seriousness, I’m good with either one. Just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page is all.”

[Oberst W. Klink]

*rolls his eyes at Hogan*
*Thinks that he really should use the crop on Hogan some time*
*Which leads to the hotness leaving his ears to go somewhere else again*
*Rubs the bridge of his nose to appear annoyed at Hogan but is just stalling while he tries to get his thoughts back on track*
If you're quite sure that you won't call me Wilhelm in anyone else's presence, I'll allow it.

[Col. R. Hogan]

“Really? Wow, thanks! I swear I won’t slip up in front of anyone else.”
*beams*
“You can call me Robert or Rob when we’re alone…or switch them up. I don’t mind.”
*sighs after catching sight of his watch*
“As much as I wanna stay in here with you, I need to go check on my men. They’re probably wondering where I went. Plus, the inspector is gonna be here in two hours.”
*reluctantly de-tangles himself from Klink’s arms*
*looks at him with a concerned expression*
“Will you be okay until then, Wilhelm? You were pretty freaked out earlier. Don’t wanna come back and find you half gone into a bottle of schnapps, you know?”

[Oberst W. Klink]

Hoooogan *snarls*
Don't be insolent!
*Pushes Hogan from his lap*
I can already tell you're getting too comfortable here! Don't get used to this or I'll have to rethink our arrangement!
*Gets up and straightens his uniform*
I'm not some sort of uncontrolled drunkard and you know that.
Dismissed!
*Salutes and turns to his office*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*yelps when he hits the ground*
*is wondering why Klink is pissed now until he speaks*
"I wasn’t trying to be insolent!"
*gets up and brushes himself off*
*is upset about Klink going back and forth between hot and cold*
*speaks in an angry voice*
"You know what? Fine. That's fine. I was only worried because that's what you usually do when you're stressesd out! But if you're gonna act like this, I'll leave!"
*jams his crush cap on his head and salutes*
"I'll come check on you after the inspector leaves, Herr Kom-man-dant!"
*stalks toward the door*

[Oberst W. Klink]

*turns around again to watch Hogan yell at him*
*Wants to say something but doesn't know what*
*Is surprised at Hogan's reaction as this is not what usually happens when he calls him insolent*
*Then again what was he expecting?*
Hogan wait... *Weakly*
*Damn he should have said Robert...! He really is a fool sometimes*

[Col. R. Hogan]

*doesn't hear Klink because his voice is so low. Storms out*
*goes to Barracks 2 to check on Carter and Newkirk*
*tells them to come find him when they're done*
*goes into his room to wait*
*spends the next hour and a half thinking about what he said to Klink. Hopes he didn’t ruin things before they could even get started*
*looks everything over once his men inform him that they're done*

Carter: "I told you they'd be easy to fix, Colonel. I -"

*interrupts him*
"Oh shut it, will ya? You're running off at the mouth again."
*sighs*
"I'm sorry, Carter. I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

Carter: "It's fine, sir."
*looks concerned*
"Are you feeling alright, though? I sure hope Klink didn’t say anything nasty to you after we did all this to help him!"

*forces a smile*
"No, no. I'm just tense 'cause it's been a while since I...you know."
*turns serious*
"But speaking of our illustratious Kommandant, I want you and the rest of the fellas here to show a little more appreciation for what he does here."

Newkirk: "You mean keepin' us locked up in this bloomin' prison like animals?"
*scoffs*
"The ruddy hell are we supposed to appreciate about that?"

*stern voice*
"A lot more than you think, Newkirk. Klink’s only doing his job. You've heard some of the same stories I have; we could be in a real hellhole. He keeps that from happening by following the Geneva Conventions. So the next time any of you see him, I expect you fellas to say 'thank you'. And be sincere about it!"
*proceeds to give a short lecture on how Klink keeps them safe, fed, clothed, etc*

[Oberst W. Klink]

*goes to his office and heads for the cognac thinking about what an idiot he is*
*reaches for the bottle but then leaves it mainly out of spite*
*as if he had ever drunk more than he could handle, damn Hogan*
*sits at his desk looking through the mail and ponders if he should be angry at Hogan for implying he can't handle his drinks or if he should go and apologize for going full Kommandant on him*
*circles the bottle of Cognac a few more times Over the next hour or so before he calls for Schultz*
*sends Schultz to the Station to get the Inspector*
*then goes to barracks 2 to fetch his books*
*considers knocking to show some respect to the men who help him but then thinks that's not something a Kommandant should do*
*walks into the main room unannounced where all the men stand gathered round the door to Hogan's office where the Colonel seems to hold some sort of speech*
*they have their backs turned and don't notice Klink*
*pauses and listenes to Hogan*
*realizes Hogan is basically holding an eulogy on the merits of Kommandant Klink*
*his ears get really hot again and he feels like a giant ass for being so rude earlier*
*pulls himself together and hopes the men wont notice his red ears*
*clears his throat loudly and announces with a voice that comes out just a tiny bit too high*
Colonel Hogan? I came to fetch my .... uhm "belongings" are your men done yet?

[Col. R. Hogan]

*looks up from his lecture*
*notices Klink's voice seems a little high but doesn't draw attention to it*
*keeps his tone neutral, even though he wants to cover Klink's body in kisses until he's forgiven for his sharp words earlier*
"They sure are, Colonel Klink. I think you'll find everything is in order now."
*hands him back his books*
*listens to everyone but Newkirk and Carter thank Klink for the various things they appreciate*
*gives them the look*

Carter: "Thanks for everything you do for me and my friends, Kommandant. We appreciate it. Might not seem that way, but we do. Having actual medical care is the best blessing of all."

Newkirk: *mutters* "Only cause you're a bleedin' klutz, Andrew."
*turns to Klink*
"I, er, I wanted to say thank you too, sir, especially for ensuring we've got proper uniforms and shoes. You're alright for a Jerry."

*looks up at the ceiling and rolls his eyes*
"Newkirk..."

Newkirk: "What? That was a compliment, Gov'nor!"

*sighs*
"I think that might be the best you're gonna get out of him, sir."